Dear Cam,

Dear Cameron,

New Orleans Saints v Carolina Panthers

CHARLOTTE, NC – DECEMBER 22: Cam Newton #1 of the Carolina Panthers drops back to pass during their game against the New Orleans Saints at Bank of America Stadium on December 22, 2013 in Charlotte, North Carolina. (Photo by Streeter Lecka/Getty Images)

The purpose of my letter is to give you some feedback. Albeit, you didn’t ask me for it but I still feel compelled to speak up and to write this letter. Your team lost the Super Bowl on Sunday night. It wasn’t all about you, though you are a huge component to the team. And your performance as the quarterback can make or break a game. Your performance matters both on and off the field. Which leads me to my letter….

The loss on Sunday was a defining moment for your team and for you as a leader. How you handle the loss will follow you for the rest of your life. Losing hurts, PERIOD. There is no way around the mental gymnastics we play in our heads when we lose. The embarrassment, the frustration we feel, the second guessing, and the list goes on. I am glad you don’t like losing but you better figure out how to lose, because more lost games among other things are headed your way. You failed the test on Sunday at the press conference!

“When winning and losing affect you the same way, you will know you are beginning to mature.” The fact that you can’t figure out how to be civil with the media speaks volumes about you, not your team…you. The problem is you represent your team. Your immaturity is overshadowing the lost game. That is foolishness.

There is a reason your team lost the game. Denver’s defense played extremely well. Denver did their homework on the Panthers… Beyond the technical X’s and O’s, your team lost and each of you, you and your teammates have lessons to take away, individually and collectively. Grab the lessons, and reset, and begin again. The work begins today towards getting yourself back in contention to win the Super Bowl again. Acting like a spoiled brat doesn’t serve anyone. Especially you.

I am not a fan of the North Carolina Panthers but you sure had an opportunity to win me over this week. I watched the game on Sunday. I was cheering for your team with a bunch of young men who were die hard fans. They were very disappointed in the loss. What are you teaching those young men about how to handle themselves in the face of loss? What are you teaching the young ones who want to immulate you? Who want to be Cam Newton when they grow up? I would tell them to find another role model. So far you have failed as a role model. That matters!

You made it to the big game, the world stage…over 112 million viewers were watching. Many are still watching. You are a leader in training. You needed to lose the game on Sunday. Your behavior since then confirms that. You are not ready to win. Is it too late for you to redeem yourself? Absolutely not! You are a winner! Getting to the Super Bowl proves that. The fact that you don’t know how to lose will define you unless you figure out how to win or lose with grace. Neither of them should move you to the point where you can’t be civil, polite, and gracious in the face of losing.

“I have won, I have lost, I got it right sometimes and sometimes, I did not, life is a journey, I’ve seen joy, I’ve seen regret…” 

We all have lost. Maybe we haven’t all had public losses on the same scale as the Super Bowl but losing is losing. I dare you to rewrite the script. The lost game on Sunday doesn’t have to define the rest of your life. But you have to make an adjustment. You get to…if you plan to continue to play on the big stage of the NFL. Somebody raised you better. Your coaches taught you better. You know better! Get it together and move forward! I look forward to watching your journey!

Sincerely,

Darlene Marshall

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3 Reasons Leadership Advice is Useless…Or Not

Three Reasons Why Most Leadership Advice is Useless. That felt like a punch to my gut as I attempt to wax elegant about the value of Leadership Advice here at Leaders in Training. Maybe I am naive, even after all the years I have been leading, to think that maybe I can help someone else who finds themselves struggling to lead.

LeadershipIn an effort to be open to the possibility that I am wasting my time downloading my experience and sharing my “wisdom”, I thought I would write about the fact that Most Leadership Advice is Useless. 

Here are 3 Reasons Leadership Advice is Useless:

  1. Leadership advice is useless if wanna be leaders don’t consider that maybe they don’t know. Thereby ignoring advice or wisdom given by those who have been there and done that…Being loyal to your minds conclusion about any given situation both people related or project related is a good way to fail miserably as a leader.
  2. Leadership advice is useless if wanna be leaders don’t understand that ultimately they as the leader or potential leader must be willing to walk their journey. Advice is just that…advice. Advice is not a one-size fits all. Assess the advice, see what fits and take what you can but understand that every situation, project or person deserves a unique solution for their situation. What works for one doesn’t necessarily work for all.
  3. Leadership advice is useless if the source of the advice is only regurjetating theory. Leadership is experiential. Theory is great for a lab or textbook, but at the end of the day, leadership is about getting your hands in the mix. I use my hands and feet when I am actively grooming potential leaders. I am not drawing from some theoretical approach. It is about what is happening right now in any given situation that they are facing.

These are my 3 Reasons Leadership Advice is Useless…or Not…Let me say one last thing on this topic…I Advicemay never be a Steve Jobs or John Maxwell for that matter. However, I do believe that mentoring and grooming is an important, vital responsibility for those of us who have life and leadership experience. I may never be the CEO of a large Fortune 500 Company, but one of my ducklings (this is a Darleneism), might just scale the odds and become great in this nation and even in the world. I have a responsibility to teach, train, groom, mentor and advise those in my sphere of influence that aspire to be a leader. Most leadership advice may be useless, but if I can say one thing to that one person who becomes the next great leader…I may be forgotten, but my influence will live on in the life of that great leader. Thereby leaving a legacy. If that is all I get for my efforts of coaching and developing the next generation of leaders and I am forgotten or obscure, I am okay with that.

I know there are probably more reasons why leadership advice is useless. Feel free to share your thoughts in the comments.